More or Less

I'm back in Brookings, more or less to stay, I think.

The "I think" comes because I don't have a job and I don't have an apartment. Currently, the plan is to stay with one friend through New Years and then switch over to another friend's place. I say "currently" because my plans have changed so many times, so drastically since the end of August. I can't believe it has only been a few months. When I was packing up the last of my Aberdeen apartment yesterday morning, I looked at my mom and mentioned that so much has happened. She agreed and told me I've been keeping it together well. That's the sort of thing I need to hear right now.

Still, I'm glad to be done (more or less again) with Aberdeen. I never really wanted to go back, but I felt it was silly to turn down that job. If I'd known about half the opportunities in Brookings, I could've been persuaded to stay in a heartbeat. There's something in Brookings that Aberdeen doesn't have and I've always known that, but I could never pin point it. These last weeks, I've realized that both places are home, but I just fit in better in Brookings. I have a social life here. The artistic community, which stems from campus, is so much more encouraging. A part of me feels like I put my life on hold for the months I was in Aberdeen and that bugs the hell out of me. I'm too young to have a fog set in like that.

Regardless, I'm happy to be back, even if all my stuff is in a storage unit in Aberdeen. Even if I'm mooching off all my friends. Even if I don't have my own home here yet. The fact that so many people are willing to open theirs up to me means I am home.

"Just hurry down the chimney tonight..."

Happy holidays!!

When the biggest holiday collides with moving out of an apartment, things get a little messed up and complicated. It'll get worse when I actually start packing, but I just don't have the heart to do it until Friday. I don't know if it is Christmas, or if it is because I moved in here thinking I'd be here a lot longer... I'll miss the fam, but I got a reassuring Facebook message from a friend today, and it reinforced my decision to go back to Brookings. Merry Christmas, ya know?

My family celebrates Christmas on the Eve. I'm not sure why, but it was always nice as a kid to just open and enjoy my gifts the night before. Then we could all chill on the Christmas Day and hang out with each other. Besides, there's something magical about "knowing" Santa could be flying by the picture window as we opened our presents. I remember one Christmas Eve, Spencer and I sat in the kitchen in our old house, listening to the radio for updates on Santa's location. Mom and Dad finally managed to get us to bed because Dad swore he heard bells on the roof but Santa knew we were up, so we had to go to bed. That was enough.

Spencer and I were always spoiled when it came to Santa. Every year, Mom called 1-800-North-Pole for us and we got to talk to Mrs. Clause and Santa. I always thought it was crazy how much Santa sounded like our Uncle Kent, but you know, I never asked. ;)

When I was even younger, when Spencer was just a baby, Santa came to visit us personally. I truly don't remember this, but I guess after we opened our presents, someone knocked on the door. Mom made me run to answer it and on the other side was a kitchenette set, with bits of snow and sparkles on the top. Dad reappeared (where was he?!) and exclaimed over how he heard a "Ho Ho Ho" outside. I thought Santa's personal visit was the coolest thing. We still have that kitchenette set in the basement.

As a young adult, I'm having a difficult time with Christmas, just transitioning from kid-like fantasy to adulthood, but you could argue I'm having difficulty with that transition all together. I do know, however, that I am so excited to have kids some day, just to celebrate nights like tonight with them.

Want a Cookie?

My ma has jumped into her Christmas baking full force this weekend. We have cranberry and nut cookies, sugar cookies, sugar with frosting cookies, homemade caramel, Ritz cracker cookies and about a thousand more varieties of baked goods to go yet. Aside from helping me back and celebrating the actual holiday this week, she'll be in the kitchen baking and cooking all week. Jon said today that I'm crazy for moving, that he'd love the chance to swing by his mother's kitchen any given day for homecooked food. I have appreciated it so much these last few months, but it is time I learn to cook. With my mother, the culinary master that she is, living in the same town as me...why should I ever have to learn? Hahaha. Fine, I know I should.

Anyway, Dad and Spencer decorated these cookies tonight while we were watching "Homeward Bound: Lost in San Francisco" on the Hallmark Channel. Say it with me. Awwww.

(P.S. Spencer made the Grinch Santa. My personal favorite is the snowman. He made me giggle.)

Caring Bridge

Some old friends of mine, Harmony and Phil, found out they were pregnant sometime last spring. Macee Elizabeth was born on December 9, 2008 and her arrival has been drama-filled, to say the least. She's doing much better now, however, and for that I am very thankful. This afternoon, Harms sent me a text to check out her daughter's Caring Bridge site. Whoever came up with this concept was crazy smart -- a great way for family and friends to be updated on a sick kid's progress without harrassing and stressing the parents out, more than they already are. Great site.

And Macee? Is adorable and strong and brave. Hopefully she'll get to come back up here soon.

http://www.caringbridge.org/cb/viewHome.do

Already Gone

Earlier this fall, I totally fell head over heels in love with this song. I've been a Sugarland fan for some time, passed up the chance to see them live now twice (bugger!), and think Jennifer, the lead singer, is awesome and strong and totally a role model. So anyway, love this song. Earlier on, when it was on the radio every six minutes, it made me smile because as displeased as I was with my life at the time, I felt that if I served my time, I'd eventually be able to live up to the "already gone" part. And the lyrics about boxes and dishes and socks hit home hard, in a soft, cozy place, because I've found an ex's pair of socks and an old wifebeater in my laundry before (years ago, just for the record) and...ouch.

Long, rambl-y story short, in the drama that has ensued, I forgot about this song. I was driving up to beat the blizzard and spend a few days with my folks when this song came on the radio somewhere around the Watertown curves. And it has been stuck in my head ever since.

I can't wait for January 1. So many hopeful, optimistic, new, shiny, over-anticipated beginnings.

Job Search Rule 101

Oh my god, ohmygod, OHMYGOD!

I'm on a massive job search right now. In fact, all my extra money, patience and time have gone into this project (or whim, if you're my dad) and I do something dumb.

I sent a cover letter in electronically that said (rather than "greetings" or "dear Mr. so-n-so") "Dear Please Whoever Will Hire Me".

Yes, I did that.

WHEN DID I BECOME SUCH A PSYCHOTIC?

I'm never going to get a job at this point.

I really don't remember sending that copy. The one I swear I sent was nice, professional and pretty as a picture. The only reason I had the other salutation at all is because it was a place holder -- I've been using a template of a cover letter since April. And yes, normally I am absolutely perfect about typos and adjusting my cover letter to the place I'm applying very, very well. But THIS?? I seriously mess with my own fate.